This year I set some really amazing goals.
Setting these goals and moving in their direction has SHOVED me out of my comfort zone mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally... and it has opened up whole new worlds of thought and experience to me.
Many times it has felt exciting, exhilarating, energizing.
To be honest it is SCARY as hell sometimes too. Pushing my own limits, exploring my borders and boundaries-- forces me to hit zones and regions of myself I haven't hit before. To see things that are hard to look at, as well as things that are really amazing too.
Some days--some moments it feels heavy. Overwhelming. Discouraging. Sometimes I wonder if my goals and dreams are even possible. Other times I feel like I could literally fly--and I feel so empowered.
It's definitely a ride.
So my reading for today was particularly comforting...
"...you have embarked on an adventure as exciting as that of any explorer. Uncovering the source of the Nile or charting the course of the Amazon are outward parallels to the inner journey you are on today--a safari of the self and the spirit.
In Africa, to go on Safari--the Swahili word for journey-- is to leave the comfort and safety of civilization to venture in to the wilderness. Each time you listen to the woman [or man] within--your authentic self-- you do the same. Remind yourself of this often. " You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition," Alan Alda advises the inner explorer in you. "What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself."
My time in Texas fit into this description. I literally went into the wilderness. I left everything I knew behind. I survived without many of the things we take for granted in the first world. It was a truly amazing journey. And I believe it set the stage for the journey I am on now. It showed me an inner strength I didn't really know I had. It taught me a lot about the difference between wants and needs. To let go of everything and still survive and then come back to standard civilization and bring with me the lessons of that time and place was something I will never regret.
This journey though. millions of times scarier. It feels so much riskier to me. I can do tents and chiggers and mold and rain and heat and humidity and poop in a bucket and shower outside. Honestly, compared to this self excavation-- piece of cake.
But I wouldn't have it any other way. I know deep inside it will be well worth the risk.
So here's to scary safari's.
Bring. It. On.