Sunday, May 2, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life. Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough. All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.
It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)
So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?
As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?
When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days—with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents—I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through. But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map. As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn—whoops, that was a suffering button!
No, seriously—please. Let's not.
Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that—if we continue this mad quest for perfection—we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.
So let's drop it, maybe?
Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen. Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.) While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet. Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted—by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you—trust me—for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.
Map your own life.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start
today and make a new ending.”
— Maria Robinson
"Real beauty isn't about symmetry or weight or makeup; it's about
looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence
reflected in your own." —Valerie Monroe, writer
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Yesterday I talked about ways to raise our energetic vibration.
I don't know about you but I learned in my high school chemistry class in 1958 that the building blocks of ALL matter (including human bodies) are ATOMS. This was hardly new....even at the time. No one disputes this fact. Nor does anyone dispute that atoms are made of ENERGY.
Einstein further emphasized this point with his Theory of Relativity wherein he developed the famous formula....
Energy = Mass times the speed of light squared
In simple terms this means that physical matter (including the human body) is MADE OF ENERGY. Thus, even though the human body may appear to be solid, its foundation is made of energy.
This simple fact is one of the most universally agreed upon findings in the scientific world. To my knowledge, not one scientist anywhere disagrees with it. It's acceptability ranks right up there with the laws of gravity.
However, for reasons known only to the cosmos, the Western healing sciences have....
How short-sighted! Instead, they continue to regard the human body as a physical entity and thus walk right by its energy roots. They treat the body as a....
bag filled with body parts and chemicals.
Thus their methods involve the repair and replacement of body parts (surgery) and the "correction" of body chemistry by other chemicals (drugs).
Many useful things have come from this conventional approach so I'm not knocking it. In fact, I'm very glad it is around and I respect those diligent scientists and healing practitioners that have used this approach. If I had a burst appendix, for example, I would enthusiastically volunteer myself for the surgeon's table.
However, for the Western healing sciences to ignore the well established fact that the body, at its core, is made of energy is like wearing glasses that only permit vision up to 10 feet. EFT'ers are offering these conventional folks a pair of longer range glasses and, gradually, the skeptics are trying them on. Those among them that have "seen" cannot unsee and thus are adding to the snowball of education that is bringing these procedures to the public.
Anyone who has been around the competent use of EFT for even a few weeks has surely seen many instances where dramatic progress has been made on both the physical and emotional levels WITHOUT ANY CONVENTIONAL METHODS BEING USED. Many of these results completely violate the beliefs inherent in the Western healing sciences. For example, how is it possible, under conventional Western definitions....
For Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to fade completely without psychiatric drugs?
For many lifelong phobias to vanish in what we call "one minute wonders?
For addictive cravings to be quenched in moments?
For Carpal Tunnel Syndrome to disappear without the normally prescribed surgery?
For Lactose Intolerance to vanish even though the patient is not supposed to have the enzymes necessary to digest milk products?
For migraine headaches to fade (often permanently and often in moments) without any form of drugs whatsoever?
Yet EFT'ers perform these "miracles" daily....as well as hundreds more. Our web site is full of such evidence. Western healing practitioners are hard pressed to explain these results except to use a "placebo" or a "spontaneous remission" or a "mind over matter" explanation. They cannot be explained through the current paradigm. Accordingly, what is needed is another way to look at the human body...another paradigm. The conventional explanations obviously need help.
And what more logical choice is there than to follow Albert Einstein and the most fundamental scientific findings of the last century. Why don't scientists view the body as an energy configuration and see where that leads? EFT'ers have been doing this for years and the clinical evidence is mountainous. It is pointing to the obvious and the results are often jaw dropping....even when performed by lay citizens.
I do not mean by this article to forsake the many conventional findings that have brought us unmistakable healing benefits. Rather, I'm suggesting that we unlock the doors to the obvious and blend EFT with the best of our other healing achievements. The results should take healing to an entirely new (and affordable) level.
So I ask the scientific community and the conventional doubters out there to investigate the obvious. We are not perfect here in EFT Land and I'm sure someday our theories will be revised. That is how science progresses. But, for now, we are performing daily miracles that are destroying the conventional lists of "can's" and "cannot's."
If you are interested in learning more about EFT, or about understanding your own vibration and what you are creating/ attracting into your life,whether you know it or not--feel free to contact me for more in depth guidance. I will be talking more about these concepts in future blog posts as well.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Certain moments in your life create in you strongly positive emotions—let's call these "strong-moments." Not all moments are strong-moments—some moments spark negative emotions, while some don't spark any emotions at all. But when you do experience a strong-moment, it is authentic. It is true, in the sense that the emotions you feel are true. You may not know exactly what you should do with your emotions, or what label you should give each emotion, but you know how a specific moment made you feel. You know this more certainly than you know virtually anything else in your life.
It could be that moment yesterday when, as you again sat hunched over the year-end results, you found a revealing pattern in the financial report you were reading; or the snuggling of your grandson into the crook of your shoulder as you read him the last chapter in The Magic Tree House book, or that glorious sentence you wrote last night on your blog, or the way you managed to calm down your colleague after your boss changed everyone's schedule.
Whatever you are picturing, it will be a vivid, detailed moment, and as you think about it now, you feel yourself change. You are sitting up a little straighter than you were even a minute ago. Your shoulders are back. You've slowed down your breathing just a hair. Perhaps you are smiling. This moment, and the emotions you feel as you relive it in your mind, is you, in truth.
When you commit your life to being true to yourself, you are not committing to some far-flung destiny, some grand dream or some disembodied list of values, no matter how worthy. Instead, you are committing to the truth embodied in this strong-moment, the truth that this specific moment, for no rational reason, energizes you.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I listened to an interview done with Caroline Myss yesterday. She is a spiritual teacher, educator and medical intuitive/healer. I just found out about her this last weekend. The following are the notes I took from an exclusive interview with an LA radio talk-show host. Her thoughts were very helpful to me so I thought I'd paraphrase them and put them out there. If you like her ideas you can find more at www.myss.com
Sometimes these voices come from others, and sometimes they come from ourselves. For far too long we have underestimated the power and possibility that life is the act of dreaming what can be and that we all have to do the work it takes to make our dreams a reality.
Our dreams are magic, and if respected, nurtured and honored, they ultimately bring an abundance of meaning and purpose to our lives. Dreams guide us as we reach for the stars, follow our heart's desire and do the things we are passionate about. Dreams help weave the fabric of who we are, and they reveal what matters most to us. They allow our spirits to shine, and they reflect our uniqueness and authenticity.
Although we sometimes hear the call to put our dreams aside, louder, clearer and more powerful voices remind and connect us to the truth, beauty and wealth of our dreams.
Throughout history, poets, songwriters, novelists, politicians, social activists, countries, companies, presidents, moms, dads and people just like you have expressed the importance of the act of dreaming and of reaching toward those dreams. These voices also inspire and remind us that there is a common thread that connects one heart to another. That thread is the belief and optimism in a brighter future when we embrace and pursue our dreams.
When we look around, we see others who have embraced their dreams, and we admire them. We see the great changes that can come from one person's commitment, perseverance and belief in her dream. We see the power of dreams manifested around us in our neighborhoods, churches, communities, states, the country and the world.
We, too, want to make our own dreams come true. We all want to connect, to speak from our hearts. We yearn to create dreams as well as things and moments that make our lives worthwhile. We want to convey what words alone cannot as we accomplish our dreams.
Yet, not enough of us even acknowledge the desire to create the lives we imagine or try to make our dreams come true. Too often we diminish the importance of our dreams by saying, "I'll get to it later" or "It can wait." Our inner critic can be heard saying, "I'll never get it accomplished," "My dream doesn't really matter" or "I probably can't do it any way, and people will think it's silly."
The truth is, we all need more opportunities to dream, to imagine and to play. We long to feel the sensation of being lost in a moment of joy. To laugh, discover, experiment, invent, feel accomplished and live in the moment.
Dreaming is the way we define what matters to us and what we wish to accomplish and do in the world with this one life.
Let today be that day for you. Get started by taking these ideas to heart:
- Today is the day to declare that you can and will create the life you imagine.
- Today is the day to stop diminishing your dreams and start believing in them.
- Today is the day to stop putting your dreams aside and stop asking them to wait.
- Today is the day to shut your inner critic up and instead of saying, "No, I can't," say, "Yes, I can!"
- Today, nurture and support yourself.
- Today, you are teacher and a student.
- Today and every day is your day.
- Today is the day you let your dreams take flight.
Whether it is a dream
- to hear the voice of a long lost friend
- to make holiday cards by hand
- to learn to bake a cake that people can't get enough of
- to sing or play the cello
- to get an education
- to climb a mountain
- to help another human being
- to start a business
- to paint a picture
- to find the love of your life
- to teach English in a remote village in India
- to take a trip to Spain
- to be closer to a sister
- to walk in the sand at the beach
- to be a doctor
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I LOVE These faces.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Today my reading was about creating a sacred space. I decided to share this one because I think it is so important. This is a space to celebrate, concentrate and consecrate our inner work. It can be small or large. It can just mean carving out a certain space of time each day. But I am starting to understand how an actual physical location can be so valuable. It's funny because I created a sacred space to nurture other women (and men and children too-- but especially women) through my studio. But I never use that space just for me. Several times I have had the thought to go in there to do my morning and evening routines, but I have never actually done it. I asked myself why today and the answer came simply in a feeling of resistance. Why do I resist using that space to nurture myself? The truth is, I am still learning to give myself permission to really and truly shut everything else out but myself, and totally take care of me. I am scared to do it. I avoid it. I have put my toes in the water, even waded in mid calf or thigh. But I won't jump. I won't let myself dive in and float up on my back and actually envelop myself in my own sacred space, truly connected to my authentic self. Doing my inner work and totally tuning everything else out seems like it's not ok. It's ok to steel away a few minutes, as long as I am still available to the outside world. In case the phone rings, the baby crys, the doorbell rings. Someone might need me. Or I might miss something.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
This last weekend I put on a retreat for 4 single adults. I called it the "Live your Best Life" Single's Retreat. It was awesome! I have been doing retreats for affluent families in a very specific process and setting for several years and have recently decided to branch out. This was my first try at it. I didn't know what to expect or if the participants would be happy with the outcome so I felt nervous and stressed about it. But when it came time to start, I knew just what to do. It felt really natural and I completely enjoyed sharing information, inspiration, ideas, education etc... with this group of people. I enjoyed teaching them and providing resources and tools for them to help them better their own lives, as well as sharing things I have been learning on my own journey. I also loved making the atmosphere and food and putting in the special touches to make it nurturing and special for them.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I said I would be back Monday and it's already Wednesday. No excuses. I didn't keep my word and I am sorry for that.
“If you make a commitment, honor it.
If you make a promise, keep it.
If you set a goal, achieve it.”
This may be something you have already mastered in your life. I have not. I have always considered myself to be a person who strives to live with integrity. But as I have been doing a lot of self-exploration and personal development, and as I have been examining my life with a magnifying glass, I have found a lot of ways in which I fall short.
It's hard to look at and change. It's uncomfortable. It causes me to feel guilty and inadequate sometimes. Which then gives me the chance to offer myself love and kindness and acceptance, along with a gentle push toward improvement. I can already see how even trying to improve has made a big difference in my life. So, I'm looking at it. Working on it. Experiencing growing pains. Feel free to call me on it if you see where I fall short...But please be kind. ;)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
This year I set some really amazing goals.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Do you have a gratitude journal? I started one at the behest of Simple Abundance Author Sarah Ban Breathnach. I write in it every night as part of my nighttime routine. Here is an entry from February 13th.