Monday, March 1, 2010

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

"Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature."
Thich Nhat Hanh

When I read those two quotes this morning I felt it in my gut. Sometimes I loose my cool. Especially lately. I feel so much fear about the unknown. About my own capacities. I go through the day trying to be good, kind, productive, efficient, effective, appropriate, excellent. In this process of trying to change and live more of my potential, I am so overwhelmed sometimes I take it out on those who are always there for me. I do and say (and even yell and scream sometimes) things I would never want to sign my name to. UUGH.
That's the truth though.
Last night I wrote in my daily dialogue that I want to see more of my darkest places. I want light shone on them. I want to be brave and look at them. So this morning in the early light of morning, there it was. Illumination into the darkest corners of me.
I choose to be conscious of my words and actions today, especially around those that are closest to me. I ask for the ability to maintain that consciousness. I choose to be aware of what I am signing my name to today. If I find myself in some way signing off on something my true self would never sign. I will correct it immediately.

By the way. I spent my morning routine in my sacred space and it was truly magical. I can't believe I have been missing out on this all this time!

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