The other day while I was sitting in my conference, I was listening to very inspiring people who have accomplished many of their own dreams. And it popped into my mind when I heard Bob Doyle (click here to learn about him) say that his main hope for each of us would be to learn to be who we authentically are without apology. To be who we want to be and emulate what we are about in confidence.
In that moment it came into my mind clearly-- I could see myself creating paintings and pictures that represent my journey of growth and transformation. I thought to myself and wrote down these exact words:
"I want to be an artist. I want to paint my experiences into moving, profoundly emotional art-combined with poem."
Truthfully I have some very major blocks to this. But it came from inside me and I choose to honor that.
About an hour later we were doing an exercise and we were asked to take our dominant hand and tap on our heart-- at the pace of a heart beat-- and focus on asking ourself a specific question. I was surprised and curious to find myself automatically tapping with my left hand. It was a curious thing for me and after the presentation I went and asked the presenter (Jennifer Mclean) if that meant anything significant. She stated that she felt encouraged to tell me that I should begin drawing, writing, and painting with my left hand. That I should consider the possibility that I am ambidextrous. For some reason this made me start to cry. Through an amazing process called Body Dialogue, and the use of EFT (click here) (or here) (or here), I was able to discover that I have actually been neglecting the use of the left side of my body in many ways for many years, and in effect being very closed off to the the functions of my right brain.
So I have begun writing and drawing with my left hand, and brushing teeth, and tapping, and opening lids etc... It's interesting how it makes me so much more aware of my body and my mind. It's difficult. I feel like a little kid again trying to learn to master something, like riding a bike. And I can't tell you how excited I am to see what happens as I begin integrating both sides of my body and mind. I am a little nervous for how it might change me or make me feel different, and I am excited about how it may impact my creativity and my life in general. Through procedures mentioned earlier I discovered that I decided at a very young age that it was not safe to be whole and integrated. It is now OK for me to be whole.
So I have the paint. I have a few canvasses. I am brave enough to try writing and drawing as a lefty. But I am scared to paint-right OR left handed . I am going to do it anyway. Like my friend Kim said, I am bigger than my fear!
So wish me luck.