It's About Time

Coming up for air.
I know.
It's been a very long time since I last updated my blog...and Ezra's blog too. All I can say is that I guess I just needed to breathe. and keep getting up everyday. and figuring stuff out.
I can't say I've got it all figured out yet. I sure don't. But I felt the urge to write today. and post some pictures. So I figured I would get right on that-- since I have ignored it so many times over the last 7 months.

So lately I have really been missing my grandpa.

Everytime I hear a little airplane flying overhead I think of him. I think he is flying by saying hi. saying "hang in there kiddo." I don't care if that is true or not...I just choose to believe it. and it makes me feel good. and if he were alive i know he would be saying hang in there kiddo. i know that because he said it to me many times.

The picture below is of me and ez number 2. I am wearing one of the few things I inherited from my grandpa after he died. The hat says "Lopez-- The friendly Isle." This hat is so cool for several reasons.
#1--It's a goofy hat. my grandpa wore goofy hats. he never curved the bill so they were always straight and square across the top, and not fitted to his head so he looked funny in them. They always said random stuff on them too from all the places he had been, or had like handprints on them because they were gifts from one of his grandkids, or came from some store he bought some item at like a boat store or something. The same was true about his t-shirts.
He should really have had a matching shirt and hat combination that said "I heart Costco" on it because he loved Costco. Seriously, I think he loved Costco more than life itself.
So anyway the brim on my hat is still square and it's made out of green courdoury. And it says LOPEZ on it. Which is my favorite place in the whole world-- and it really is friendly there-- everybody waves, even when they are driving. If you don't wave you are obviously not a local and I love thinking of my grandpa driving around on the island in his little honda brushing his teeth and doing the slight raise of the hand over the steering wheel as we passed another driver to acknowledge them...honoring the tradition on the friendly isle.
And the other cool thing #3-- is that the word LOPEZ ends in EZ. which is what I call my son. and the short version of my grandpa's name.
I heart my green hat.
It doesn't fit in in my bedroom at all. but it's hanging on my bedpost at all times unless I am really missing him... and then i put it on my own head for awhile.
Ezra turned one. And he tried to share his cupcake with me. Sweet kid.

We have been trying to get out in the great outdoors as much as possible this summer.
My mom took us to the lavendar festival this summer. It was fabulous.Ezra has become quite proficient with his feet. he uses them like hands a lot. And he is obsessed with cell phones ( I won't spell it out but there is some huge irony to that...)

And I liked this picture of me. I actually felt pretty for a few minutes. It's been a long time since I felt pretty. (Thanks MerriLyn and Victoria).

Ok then. I came up for some air. i took a swig. i may be going back down under for awhile-- I may be back up soon. I can't promise anything becasue I really don't know. I'm going through a huge personal revolution right now.

so watch out.

p.s. if this post seems crazy to you and you don't get it-- I apologize-- but really, it's a sign of good growth for me.